The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

Boskeopolis Stories: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ASSASSINATIONS MAKE AN ASS ASS OF I AND NATIONS

TEASER

* * *

INT. SMOGGY SMELTER WALKWAY

It’s hard to see anything thru the thick curtain o’ mustard-colored smog rising from below the screen, mixed with the low light.

CLOSE UP to the faint view o’ a handrail, where a lobster claw slides past view, followed by a white-gloved hand, & then a row o’ similar gloves in close approximation.

A somewhat NASALLY voice, but 1 with a tone o’ deep confidence, speaks out, tho all o’ the figures are too dark in the shadows to see where it comes from.

LANCE
Hey, ¿how much longer is this stupid walkway?
‘Cause I’ll tell you: if I slip & break
a pinky joint or bend a hair… Ooo boy,
will there be lawsuits.

AGENT P. M. MAJESTY
                      & my feet are getting tired.

EQUINOX
I think we’re deep enough.

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Posted in Boskeopolis Stories, Short Stories

Boskeopolis Stories: TAKE A PICTURE IT WILL LAST EXACTLY THREE YEARS SEVEN MONTHS EIGHT DAYS AND FOURTEEN HOURS

Autumn slowed her steps as she neared the window o’ a place named “Li’l Shop for Hoarders”, glossy e’en under fall’s faded sun, as if the storeowner had set up the sun itself to improve their presentation, so she could capture a longer image o’ the camera — sleek, black with a silver circle round its lens, text too small to read embossed in silver letters in the top left corner, & many other tiny details that probably pumped up its price. But it wasn’t the appearance o’ the camera that interested Autumn so much as the possibilities it presented: she’d read ’bout a local contest where people who took pictures o’ the strangest thing they could find in Boskeopolis would get a 30,000₧ prize; & part o’ her thought, well, she knew a disgusting abundance ’bout what was out there in this ferreous forest thru her many explorations searching for treasure, which she ne’er found…

{ I’ve ne’er found any ’cause I’m a dumbfuck guttertrash teenager, which is why I wouldn’t win this contest. I’d be competing with hundreds o’ people, many with decades o’ experience in photography & photo editing. My slow-ass laptop wouldn’t e’en be able to run whate’er expensive programs I’d need, much less would I be able to afford them }.

{ I mos-def won’t be able to afford the camera, either. ¿So why am I wasting my time looking @ it? }.

Then a voice — like a demon, if Autumn were so superstitious — said in her mind, { ¿So why not steal it? }.

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Posted in Boskeopolis Stories, Short Stories